Monday, December 29, 2008

Holiday pet peeves

Happy Holidays, everyone...I hope all is going well with ze peeps out there.

The holidays are going well in the Sweva camp too...with plenty of family time. For some of us, the extensive family time during the holidays can be both a pleasure and a loathe all at once.

That being said, I'd like to make a list of a few pet peeves involving family over the holidays...some of these are from direct experience over the years, while others are merely observations.

As usual, nobody is spared the wandering crosshairs of the Swevablogrifle. There is no if you're offended, deal with it or talk to your therapist about it.
  1. Not pretending to be surprised when opening a gift...or at least taking interest and expressing thanks when you open a gift that you knew you were going to receive, through no fault or negligence on the part of the gift giver.
  2. Getting showered and dressed for wintry conditions to go out somewhere...then someone changes their mind about something (therefore throwing off your schedule for the day) and you don't end up going out after all.
  3. Excessive complaints about crappy weather. Everyone knows the weather is crappy out. We don't need to be reminded of it...and we certainly don't need to be reminded of it excessively for five minutes.
  4. Forcing family to watch crappy Clint Eastwood Every Which Way but Lose, and THEN Any Which Way You Can after they protested the first movie...that is, AFTER you watched it on your computer that same morning in front of them and laughed at all the funny scenes when they couldn't see what you were laughing at...but the scenes probably weren't going to be that funny to anyone but you anyway.
  5. Hogging the laptop computer to watch crappy movies and blog about pet peeves...when someone else needs to use it for more meaningful reasons.
  6. Intentionally harassing someone and making them lose their appetite. For example, talking about how bloody hot dogs can be as someone (who doesn't often eat meat) takes them out of the refrigerator to cook then they're grossed out and forced to eat only tomato soup.
  7. Family members who listen to the rock band Rush...and then complain about the singers of rock bands other family members listen to.
  8. Lack of appreciation for driving in perilous wintry conditions. Now we're getting serious! If, through conversation, outright complaint, pale-faced fear venting, or otherwise; family mentions braving unpleasant and dangerous driving conditions to see you -- citing specific examples in which they were in peril -- it might be a good idea to take some semblance of interest in their dangerous journey or express some degree of sympathy...or at least make an effort to pretend. ...and who might help family want to make the effort to actually see you again the following year...just a hunch.
  9. The original details posted regarding this one were too hardcore to leave in this it got transferred to somewhere else. Let's just say it gets the grand prize, as it exceeds the arena of rude and taboo, and ventures into the ridiculously moronic. It's not as if a person doesn't know that they're overweight to begin they certainly don't need to be reminded as such in front of the family as certain gifts are unwrapped. I find it rather shocking that some human beings don't understand how they come across to others.
  10. Oh, here's one more that piped up from across the room. A man declaring that he wants hot dogs for lunch, and offers to make some for the family, but then sits down to write a pet peeves list.
So there it is, our friendly list of holiday pet peeves...feel free to submit comments to add any of your own pet peeves to the list.


Kim said...

Oh, and I was wondering if you censored out the negative comments cuz it might be fun to see them ;)

Sweva said...

I try to leave all comments intact as long as they're on subject and not super takes quite a bit for me to reject.

Of course, having the mouth that I do, the flip side to a negative comment might be a flame back from me, but I try to let things ebb and flow a bit.

Kim said...

My biggest pet peeve is when someone pulls up to you in a van while you are loading your car full of presents at the mall and proceeds to beat you silly with a blunt object to snatch all of your would be presents. No joke, that actually happened to two girls at the mall near my mom's when I was home. Sometimes I amazed at how sick people can be.

Sweva said...

Yikes! Holy sandbagged holiday season, Batman! I'd say that probably qualifies as a little more than just a pet peeve...maybe we need to start a new list of "Top 10 Holiday Season Assaults." If we do that, we should include that f'n Twilight movie on the list!