First, a thank you to all of you who called yesterday or emailed me about my 40th birthday. Thank you.
Otherwise, I guess if my other friends aren't going to acknowledge my birthday, I'll acknowledge the slight.
It's a sign, apparently, of how apathetic I've become. Am I really chopped liver? Or a skid mark on the ground?
I don't usually make a big deal of things, especially days and anniversaries...like birthdays. It seems a bit senseless, stupid, and like a waste of energy.
But this is 40. FORTY!!! ...and the 18th is over. That was yesterday...so something belated is a facsimile at best...I'm also, ironically, feeling guilt over being angry. I really can't believe this is what I'm focused on the day after my birthday. Have I lost my mind?
For some reason, this one hits a nerve. I'm pissed...and I need to vent...and attacking someone directly for forgetting your birthday seems a bit over the top and arrogant, so I'm turning to the blog and unleashing on the cyber universe.
That's just how I feel, and to state otherwise would be lying...and I think I have a right to be pissed. Christ almighty, I turned 40, and two of my best friends didn't acknowledge it whatsoever. No call, no email, nothing.
Normally I'd say it's a sign of how detached we've become, living in different cities, or how busy our lives have become...but there's no excuse to blow off a friend on their 40th, barring being literally incapacitated for 24 hours or braindead...and even then, that would hardly be half an excuse.
I'd at least acknowledge my friend, at the very least, through an email if not a phone call...hell, I even sent out a red alert email telling them I was freaking out about it (something I've never done before), and I still didn't hear anything.
Beyond that, I don't really know what to say. I'm shocked, speechless, hurt, and a bit bummed about this.
It doesn't help that I've been wigging out over turning 40, either. I think it has to do with the fact that I recall this landmark birthday for my folks, so now I have a point of reference to that effect.
I'm older than most of my friends, so they probably don't understand this feeling...and I know a few of them who will probably bug out when their day comes. Fortunately for me, though, I'm the one who gets to walk over the bed of coals first while some watch in shared pain and sympathy and others just continue on, unaffected, with their daily business. I'm the crash test dummy.
Unfortunately, it's all part of an emerging pattern...but hey, don't mind me! I'm just another bitter 40-something. Let me know how it feels when it's your turn...and don't tell me you won't "wig out," because YOU WILL...even if you don't want to admit it.
So I have nothing more to say on this...oh yes, I do have something else to say! I was also dissed by the Rolling Stones!
As my 40th approached, I'd been tripping hard over a lost song of theirs from the 70s called "Time Waits for No One," which is off the CD It's Only Rock and Roll. While I own probably over 20 Stones CDs, oddly enough this isn't one of them.
So I scoured the city yesterday looking for this one. I'd seen it countless times over the last 30 years in the bins of record and music stores...but I couldn't find the damn thing yesterday ANYWHERE to save my life...and I checked EIGHT PLACES around Seattle. EIGHT. Silver platters, Fremont, Everyday Music on Capitol Hill, and several places in Bellevue...and I got totally dissed.
...but through all the slights and disses, I'll decide to focus, at the end of this post, by thanking family and friends who were kind enough to remember the big day through phone calls and emails...and to KJ. You're the best. Thank you so much for everything.
Okay...so now I've vented. I'm choosing to view this as a wakeup call...moving on now...I'll get my dirty panties tied out of the knot their in, I promise...
...but I need some time to cool off from this one. This hurts.
1 week ago